How to Tell When a Co-Worker Is Covertly Sabotaging You, and How to Fix It

Not all workplace conflict is obvious.
Some of it is quiet, strategic, and difficult to prove, especially when it’s happening behind the scenes.

Covert sabotage rarely looks like open hostility. It shows up in subtle patterns that, over time, erode trust, clarity, and momentum. And because it isn’t loud, people often question themselves before questioning the behavior.

What Covert Sabotage Actually Looks Like

Covert sabotage isn’t about one-off mistakes or personality differences. It’s about repeated behaviors that create friction, confusion, or failure without direct confrontation.

Common signs include:

• Information being selectively withheld

• Decisions being made without looping you in

• Your work being reframed or minimized in group settings

• Deadlines or expectations quietly shifting

• Concerns being raised about you instead of with you

Individually, these moments can seem insignificant. Collectively, they form a pattern…and patterns matter.

Why This Behavior Happens

Covert sabotage is rarely about malice for its own sake. More often, it’s a response to perceived threat.

That threat might be:

• Competence

• Influence

• Change

• Loss of control

• Insecurity within the role

When someone lacks the confidence or skill to address these feelings directly, they may default to indirect tactics. It’s a way of regaining power without accountability.

Understanding this doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it does explain why reacting emotionally often plays into it.

The Mistake Most People Make

The most common response to covert sabotage is overcorrecting.

People try to:

• Be more accommodating

• Explain themselves more clearly

• Prove their value harder

• Smooth things over informally

Unfortunately, this often reinforces the dynamic. It signals that the behavior is effective.

Covert sabotage thrives in ambiguity. The goal isn’t resolution, it’s control.

How to Fix It: Strategic, Not Emotional

Addressing covert sabotage requires clarity and consistency, not confrontation for its own sake.

1. Shift to Transparency
Move key communication into visible channels. Summaries, follow-ups, and shared documentation reduce opportunities for distortion.

2. Track Patterns, Not Feelings
Document what’s happening, when, and how it affects outcomes. This creates leverage if you need it, and perspective even if you don’t.

3. Anchor Conversations to Impact
If you address the behavior, focus on outcomes, not intent.
“What happened” and “what’s needed” are far more effective than “why.”
* Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss , Tahl Raz offer professional ways to deal with high stake situations - even if they are not negotiations.

4. Loop in Stakeholders Early
Not as escalation, but as alignment. Covert tactics lose power when there’s no private audience.

5. Regulate First, Respond Second
Staying calm isn’t about being passive—it’s about keeping your position intact.

I highly recommend The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle

When It’s Not About Fixing the Person

Sometimes, the issue isn’t the individual—it’s the environment.

If covert sabotage is tolerated, ignored, or quietly rewarded, the problem is systemic. In those cases, the most strategic response may not be changing the dynamic, but changing the context.

Discernment is part of leadership.

Final Thought

Covert sabotage relies on silence, confusion, and self-doubt.

Clarity disrupts it.

You don’t need to expose, outmaneuver, or emotionally engage.
You need to make the work—and the process—visible.

At KC & Co., we believe insight creates leverage, and self-regulation is a form of power.